Bret Facey: The First Minister & the Fish - A tale of two Sturgeons

Listening to Nicola Sturgeon at her Party conference, I was reminded of that all so common phenomena in contemporary British politics, hypocrisy. Once more the woman, who shares a name as well as many characteristics with a fish, takes to the podium to spread her nationalist, divisive, drivel to an audience of fanatic separatists. Who, by the way, would quite happily see Scotland ruined provided they achieved their lifetime ambition; breaking free of from the oppressive English *Sigh*. While I could quite happily take apart and dispel all of the SNP’s flawed philosophy, for the purposes of keeping this short I will focus on their chief apostleSturgeon herself, through comparisons to her aquatic equivalent, the freshwater Sturgeon. 


One unique characteristic of the wild Sturgeon is that it lacks a proper vertebra, that is to say it has no spine, which, in the metaphorical sense, is a shared trait with the fish’s human counterpart. While Nicola Sturgeon styles herself as a hard figure in Scottish politics, she is in fact very vulnerable, for a strong, conviction politician, resolute in the worthiness of their cause, would have already gone directly to the people with a second referendum. Instead, Sturgeon, like her scaled aquatic equivalent, lurks in the shadows waiting for the moment her prey is at its weakest to pounce like a spineless opportunist coward out of the darkness. If Nicola and her SNP colleagues were to have a sense of honour, then they would call their referendum now and be done with it, rather than lording it over the UK Governments head at a time of great focus on EU negotiations. I find it perplexing that she will not call for a second poll until “public opinion” - meaning opinion polls - shift towards separatism. It seems that the SNP and its misguided leader have learnt nothing over the last two years about the reliability of opinion polls, a fact testified to by the last General Election as well as the EU referendum.  

The First Minister shows an appalling lack of backbone and conviction in holding out for this golden dawn in opinion polls when Scotland finally takes leave of its senses and submits to blind nationalist euphoria. I believe unreservedly in the intelligence and unionism of the Scottish people; therefore, I foresee that with each passing day the golden dawn Mrs Sturgeon is waiting for will never come to fruition. Resulting in a divided and humiliated SNP being routed in the 2020 General election and the 2021 Scottish elections by voters who feel let down by a leader more interested in separatist dogma then solving any of Scotland’s social or economic problems. 

But like the freshwater Sturgeon, there is something very fishy around Nicola’s nationalist vision for Scotland. Namely, her impassioned support for the EU being the basis for her new drive towards independence. Currently Scotland cannot continue as a EU member even if it did leave the UK. The persistent pro-EU line seems pointless knowing that many member states have announced any Scottish attempt at ascension would be vetoed, to prevent their own separatist movements from gaining momentum. Also, it is worth casting our minds back only two years ago, was it not her and her predecessor, Alex Salmond, who wanted to drag Scotland from the EU by the leaving the UK? It was a widely accepted reality that an independent Scotland would not have had automatic or immediate entry into the single market and the EU. It, like all other new entrants, would have to wait years for ascension to take place, effectively costing the Scottish people all these supposedly EU dependent jobs she is now claiming to defend. Does she seriously believe that the Scottish people cannot see the blatant contradiction in her and her colleague’s stances? As I said, this new found Euro-enthusiasm reeks of something very fishy indeed.  

But as we enter a new political era post Brexit, it seems apparent that Nicola Sturgeon and her cronies sun is beginning to set, with the resurgent Scottish Conservative Party led by the dynamic Ruth Davidson championing Unionism, taking the centre ground from the crumbling ruins of the Labour Party and the SNP to account. But until the day Scotland elects a Unionist party once more we must put up with the hypocrisy spouted by the First Minister, sowing the seeds of division and disunion, but never having the nerve (or the spine) to actually call the referendum, fearing the inevitable loss and humiliation resulting in her Party’s electoral oblivion.        

Bret Facey is the Chairman of Stevenage Conservative Future in Hertfordshire and works closely with the town's MP Stephen McPartland on a variety of campaigns affecting the Constituency. He worked in league with the constituency Vote Leave coordinator to Get Out The Vote across the town on June 23rd. He is an avid political and military historian.

Follow Bret on Twitter.

Showing 5 reactions

  • commented 2016-10-29 00:54:04 +0100
    Why is it that you believe that the Scotland of John Boyd Orr, James Watt, Alexander Fleming, Alexander Graham Bell, John Logie Baird, Charles Rennie MacIntosh, Robert Burns et al is incapable of governing itself?
  • commented 2016-10-28 18:20:03 +0100
    I would suggest the author has a lack of awareness about said Ms Davidson or Scottish politics. There is no Conservative resurgence in Scotland. A significant 78% of voters said No to the Conservate Party in Scotland. Lets put in perspective, in 1979 votes for the Conservative was. 31%, by 1987 24% and in 2016 ,the year of the laughable great resurgence , Ruth Davidson & her team won a poor 22% of the vote.

    For those not aware, The Scottish General Elections is not a FPTP system like WM, but the AVM system where losers win seats to balance Parliamentary debate. The Conseravative party in Scotland won 7 seats outright compared to 59 won by the SNP. There are 73 constituency seats at the Holyrood, Ms Davidson and her team won 7. They lost every other seat, often a poir 3rd. You think that’s a threat?

    The AVM system was set up to prevent a single party winning outright. The Conservatives were a beneficary of this system and from ex Labour voters who are pro union moving to the Conservates. Similarly the SNP & Green party gained support from pro independence voters. The Conservative party in Scotland has all but peaked, no pro Indy supporter will vote for them, Labour core voters (what’s left in Scotland) will continue to vote Labour or another party other than Conservative.

    In short, the SNP has more than double the % of voters than the Conservatives and more seats than Conservative, Labour, LibDems combined. Very recent polls suggest SNP support is increasing post the Brexit vote.

    The SNP won a 3rd term in 2016. on an increased vote. Who knows what 2020 holds, but it won’t be a Conservative Gov in Holyrood.
  • commented 2016-10-28 18:16:57 +0100
    this is skeleton of a sturgeon (fish not first minister) with fully func spine

    this is an xray of your brain
  • commented 2016-10-28 17:35:04 +0100
    What a load of utter crap ,, ps Ruth got 22% of the vote 11% less than the despised THATCHER ,,but don’t let facts get in the way of your dreams son . lmfao @u
  • commented 2016-10-24 20:25:37 +0100
    Great article Brett.
    But does not Nicola Stugeon need to get approval from British Parliament before she can have another refetendum?
    How about an article on the other fishy character Alex Salmond…?